so, i've done it again.

i am bored. bored with life, bored with this place. my sagittarian roots are screaming, and i've been daydreaming of california, europe, adventure.

it's frustrating because i am totally unrealistic, and i can never derive any joy or meaning from what i have in front of me. in actuality, i hate challenges (like my 1/4 written thesis) because they provide the chance that i might fail. i just like inventing new challenges. i like the excitement of the future... and when it gets here, it's kind of boring, just like me.

i don't know what i want. i'm always torn by the desire to have a grand and adventurous life on one hand, and to spend the day in bed on the other, and anything in between, which is what life is generally composed of, always leaves me vaguely dissatisfied.

i had a dream that i was stuck with my family last night, that they followed me to my job (which i hated), and that i discovered i failed in getting anything i wanted. it's hyperbole, but it could happen.

and i guess that's what makes me want to cut everything and run.

i want to buy a jalopy of a car and load it up and buy an ipod and load it with good music, flip on my sunglasses and drive... drive to sunshine and a new beginning.

i have homework to do.

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