i'm cursed. i am eternally self-conscious. i even wonder what i look like when i'm sleeping. will there ever be that moment when i let my guard down?

so i had carefully positioned myself on a lawn on campus to read. the grass was wet, but i didn't care. the sun was shining and it felt good, lying there.

all of a sudden this boy catches my eye. he is sitting and reading as well. and he is beautiful. i am possessed by the sudden urge, this overwhelming desire, to know him. who are you? i wonder. who is this dunkin donuts iced coffee drinking, brown haired boy? i need to know.

i pretend to read, but i watch him.

i spend whole minutes convincing myself... go up to him and say something. anything.

but i don't.

and he walks away.

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