i just saw "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" and whoooooa, what a mindfuck. it was definitely thought-provoking.

i spent the ride home wondering if i would erase mark from my memory, and i wouldn't. because looking back on it, i wouldn't want to lose what it felt like to hear his heart beat, or that night where we just lay on his bed laughing, our faces inches from one another.

i don't want to lose that. but i want someone to share things like that with again.

he broke up with his girlfriend for apparently no reason. i can't say i'm surprised. he has some sort of real attachment issues that i doubt will ever go away. i heard he's going to either wisconsin or michigan next year for his phd. i guess it will be easier to forget him knowing he's going to be so far away.

i don't know. sometimes i just feel like... i'm going to be alone. just me and my memories. and that scares me.

i really have to finish my thesis now.

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