the more i stay home, the more surreal things get. i feel like i am in a fun house, or a house of horrors, depending on the minute and on everyone's state of sobriety. last night was one of the weirdest nights of my life. in the thick of it all i went to target with my next door neighbor while intoxicated. she asked me to smell a shampoo and i spilled half of it on the floor without batting an eye. then to cap off the night after coming home to my parents who were the only ones left in the house and dwon six bottles of wine, i decided to watch trainspotting.

i have taken to speaking to everyone except my mom in half sentences and one word answers. she's the only one that i don't feel like throttling half of the time. and also, i feel like i just don't have to answer anyone. because if it's a dream, they won't care. that's really how i feel, like i'm a character in goddamn through the looking glass.

so what would make you feel more alive than some good old mass consumption? i spent $65 in target and ate a #2 at mcdonalds.

i brought a new cd wallet. 196 spaces, hopefully it will fit all my cds if i keep the double cds in one pocket. that should keep me occupied.

oh, and i'm taking a practice GRE tomorrow. that oughta be a BLAST.

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