fuck.
do i have a sign on me which says, "guys with girlfriends, come, come talk to me and find me really 'pretty, interesting, and cool' and then when i want to make out with you, tell me you have a girlfriend?"
i really think i do.
god, this hurts so much and i don't know why. i met this guy jeff in a bar yesterday. he's a marine... go figure. he's 29, and lives six blocks from my parents' house. he was really nice and fun to talk to. he was walking me home, and we took the long way, straggling and me being dumb and drunk and looking at the stars and practically crying about how beautiful the ocean is. and we get to the corner of my street, and he turns to me and says "i have something to tell you."
i actually laughed. i knew what was coming. of course it was. "it's okay," i said. "i hear this a lot."
"you do? really?"
yes, really.
i went home and cried for a long time, both from being drunk and for the sinking feeling that i am going to be alone for the rest of my life.
i remember you best hating all the boys who got to you, and all the things they took from you again
